How can I help an ex marine friend who seems like he wants to talk about his negative military experiences?

He says he's "seen things" but he was never in combat or any thing like that. Can someone tell me what he means by he's "seen things"? Can someone give me an idea of what these things would be exactly so i can better understand him I know little of what men see being in the marines for several years. He seems in pain.I want to help him.

How can I help an ex marine friend who seems like he wants to talk about his negative military experiences?
Just because he has seen things doesn't mean it is a negative military experience.





No one can tell you what "seen things" is that is his memory or visions. If you think he needs help encourage him to go see a professional. If not offer to listen to him without being judgmental.
Reply:I am a Nam vet living on disability. The training and experience a Marine goes thru, there is no such thing as an ex marine, along with the mental exercises required to prepare yourself to kill people takes a serious toll. I was never in real combat in that I fixed fighters and we took a few mortar rounds here and there but that is not what civilians consider combat although I new the next one might get me.





The best advice I can give is shut up and listen. After a while you can make your own decision.
Reply:Maybe he is BSing.
Reply:Only he can explain what that means. And you do not have to be in direct combat to see what a mortar round can do to a person.





Tell him you would like to hear what he has to say, and you will be there for him. Do not judge anything he says or speculate on anything. Just let him know he can talk to you when he's ready.





Learn about active listening.
Reply:Just talk to him. More then likely he doesn't want to talk about it. Just engage in normal conversation and when he feels comfortable, he will open up on his own. Its hard to talk to civilians about a lot of it because civilians just dont have the experience to understand it in general. Just talk about sports, girls or whatever until he feels like it. Forcing him on it isn't usually a good thing. Just be there for him, be a friend, not a councilor.





As for what it was, it could be a lot of things. Even in a base, you still occasionally get rocket attacks, see wounded or dead, or just hear the reports or stories of others.
Reply:Even if he wasn't in combat, he may have seen some criminal, violent, or corrupt acts that have compromised his worldview. You sound like a good friend--the best thing you can do for him is tbe there for him and listen if he decides to open up. If you can, without pressuring him, see if he would be willing to visit his nearest VA (Veteran's Affairs) clinic where counselors are available to help with post-traumatic stress. He can also call Military One Source at 1-800-342-9647 to speak with a counselor 24/7. If his chain of command did a good job, he should already be aware of these resources.

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